Come In

My brother reminded me of a spiritual practice recommended by Thich Nhat Han: to embrace suffering, to speak aloud welcoming words to it.

Life. Changing.

I’m having some pretty significant anxiety that seems to be associated with my menstrual cycle. My chest is tight, it’s hard to catch my breath. My entire body feels nauseous and jittery at the same time. It basically feels like a low-level panic attack at all times. In response to this fun new development, I started exercising about 2 hrs/day, stopped all alcohol and caffeine (and most sugar) consumption, and am using essential oils. But what really made a difference was my brother’s reminder.

“Come in, my Dear One,” he instructed to me to say to this sickening anxiety. “You are welcome here, you are safe. I will take care of you.” Immediately, I feel compassion instead of fear, I feel peace instead of tightness. I feel love for every bit of myself.

This is supremely mystifying.

There are similar things at work with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), with Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) and of course with DBT, specifically, Radical Acceptance. Hello, Darkness, my old friend.

But the Buddhist spin on this concept is particularly beautiful and comforting.

Release yourself from your expectations of how things should be. Let go of your resistance, even resistance to pain. Nothing is permanent, therefore, suffering is impermanent.

Come in, my Dear One.